training pants

I had a brief vision while I prayed yesterday. It was of a baby who was in training pants. I asked God what it meant and He said - 'you are in training'.

My son is potty trained. Yet here I am nine months later still cleaning up his messes - regularly. He knows what he is supposed to do that much is clear...but he can't seem to remember that fact all of the time nor control himself all of the time. I struggle with these same things. Remembering who God is and His heart for me, and also remembering who I am - that He has made me new and I do not have to present myself to sin.

But I also need to remember that I am not perfect. He is. That I will screw this up a lot. I will make big messes. And that He is filled with grace and mercy and patience to cover all of that.

It is a lot easier to let God have all of me - knowing He knows all of me. I am dust and He is God. But also that He wanted to let me know it's OK - He knows I will screw this up a lot - but that He will be with me all along the way, cleaning me up, dusting me off, setting me on my feet to toddle off again and figure it out.