idolatry

I struggle with an addiction to food. It has been part of my flesh for my whole life. I can remember finding comfort in food at a very young age. Last year I lost a bunch of weight. This year has been about overcoming my addiction/idolatry, and letting God heal me. I want to be healed I think.

There are days that I want to just stay as I am in my flesh. That would certainly be easier. Then I could go to a brownie when I need some pleasure. And in that bite I could feel bliss - or rather a shadow of bliss. And I could pretend to be happy.

Then there are the days that I remember why I do want this idolatry killed in me. I have met with God - and nothing compares to His love - nothing. So why would I want this false desire in me - profaning His name, mocking Him, standing in His place. Only He should give me comfort and pleasure. Only He is true bliss.

It's stupid to think that food can fix anything in me. It's stupid to think food can ever stand in for God - really stupid. I know this. Yet I keep trying to make it fit.


Father, put this to death in me. Free me from this sin, and it's pull on me. Give me the courage and the strength to be obedient today. And please give me new mercies each day here after so that I may walk in obedience and faith. You have made me a new creature, and I long to worship You with a free heart. Only you can set me free from this body of death, thanks be to You, Jesus!