So all of that contributes to where I am today - right now.
I read a bunch of Psalms this morning. This one stood out for me... I posted it earlier.
Psalm 35: 1-3
O LORD, oppose those who oppose me.
Fight those who fight against me.
Put on your armor, and take up your shield.
Prepare for battle, and come to my aid.
Lift up your spear and javelin
against those who pursue me.
Let me hear you say,
“I will give you victory!”
I loved reading about God fighting for me. That is what I have been praying for. I have been wanting God to show up and do His thing and show me whatever I needed to know - no matter how painful it was. And I loved hearing about His victory. I have been praying for His victory to be enacted in my life (to have what is already true about me as a new creature in Christ - no longer a slave to sin - actually be true now!). As I read the words this morning - I knew they were meant for me today - to hang onto.
I had already read a ton of scripture, and prayed a lot. But this is a Lenten fast day for me - so during lunch I snuck away from the kids and came back upstairs and decided to read some more. I did my homework for small group and then the Lord gave me an impression to again pick up 'Absolute Surrender' by Andrew Murray (he is a great writer by the way, friendly and loving but, powerful). Everything after that just seemed to fall into place - and God opened up my heart and mind to see what I have missed.
Andrew Murray writes:
At a later period he comes to another state of mind. He begins to see such a life is impossible, but he does not accept it. There are multitudes of Christians who come to this point: “I cannot”; and then think God never expected them to do what they cannot do. If you tell them that God does expect it, it appears to them a mystery. A good many Christians are living a low life, a life of failure and of sin, instead of rest and victory, because they began to see: “I cannot, it is impossible.” And yet they do not understand it fully, and so, under the impression, I cannot, they give way to despair. They will do their best, but they never expect to get on very far.
But God leads His children on to a third stage, when a man comes to take that, It is impossible, in its full truth, and yet at the same time says: “I must do it, and I will do it — it is impossible for man, and yet I must do it”; when the renewed will begins to exercise its whole power, and in intense longing and prayer begins to cry to God: “Lord, what is the meaning of this? — how am I to be freed from the power of sin?”
This is exactly where I was - asking this same question - How am I to be free. Knowing it is from God - but how - what am I missing?
It is the state of the regenerate man in Romans 7. There you will find the Christian man trying his very utmost to live a holy life. God’s law has been revealed to him as reaching down into the very depth of the desires of the heart, and the man can dare to say:
“I delight in the law of God after the inward man. To will what is good is present with me. My heart loves the law of God, and my will has chosen that law.”
Can a man like that fail, with his heart full of delight in God’s law and with his will determined to do what is right? Yes. That is what Romans 7 teaches us. There is something more needed. Not only must I delight in the law of God after the inward man, and will what God wills, but I need a divine omnipotence to work it in me. And that is what the apostle Paul teaches in Philippians 2:13:
“It is God which worketh in you, both to will and to do.”
Note the contrast. In Romans 7, the regenerate man says: “To will is present with me, but to do — I find I cannot do. I will, but I cannot perform.” But in Philippians 2, you have a man who has been led on farther, a man who understands that when God has worked the renewed will, God will give the power to accomplish what that will desires. Let us receive this as the first great lesson in the spiritual life: “It is impossible for me, my God; let there be an end of the flesh and all its powers, an end of self, and let it be my glory to be helpless.”
Praise God for the divine teaching that makes us helpless!
When you thought of absolute surrender to God were you not brought to an end of yourself, and to feel that you could see how you actually could live as a man absolutely surrendered to God every moment of the day — at your table, in your house, in your business, in the midst of trials and temptations? I pray you learn the lesson now. If you felt you could not do it, you are on the right road, if you let yourselves be led. Accept that position, and maintain it before God: “My heart’s desire and delight, O God, is absolute surrender, but I cannot perform it. It is impossible for me to live that life. It is beyond me.” Fall down and learn that when you are utterly helpless, God will come to work in you not only to will, but also to do.
This is where I have been - trying desperately to get my inward man - the renewed man - to work and serve God - but I have not had His power. I knew I needed His power - but He had not provided it yet - so I have been waiting - knowing what I needed, but not knowing what piece He still felt I have been missing - before He will provide what he has promised.
I have not been helpless.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
the spirit
I have been learning about the Holy Spirit. I would have to say that I have always known He was supposed to be important but I didn't know exactly why. I knew He was supposed to live inside of me, and remind me of the Bible, and direct my movements. But He didn't seem to do much - He was quiet - too quiet, and He seemed to be like an under active conscience.
That is how He used to seem. No longer!
During my amazing summer - I got to re-meet Him. I had met Him originally when I had gotten saved - He was strong in me then and I let Him work. And then throughout the years He has shown up a few times - and I was always grateful. But He has never consistently led me - I never knew how to let Him - or even knew I needed Him.
During that summer I could hear Him - all the time. He led me to sing His praise, constantly. He helped my eyes to see things the way God does. He felt near - He was near.
And when God removed the filling of the Holy Spirit from me (not the indwelling - there is a difference!) - I began to ask this question - "God, don't you want all believers to walk like that - full of you?" His answer is Yes. That is exactly what He wants for us.
He wants us to live supernatural lives. He wants us to know His voice. He wants us to be led and directed by The Spirit. He wants us to shine like stars amongst a crooked generation. He wants us to worship and adore Him in our hearts always. He wants us to live out our lives in His power - casting off sin, the world, and the enemy - living our lives in His victory. And we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit - to live that kind of life. Otherwise we are living a defeated life ... the life I have been writing about in recent posts - bogged down in sin - scratching for help.
Essentially that is what this whole blog has been about to this point - how do I get the Spirit back? God what must I know, what must I learn - so I can walk with You like that again?
That is how He used to seem. No longer!
During my amazing summer - I got to re-meet Him. I had met Him originally when I had gotten saved - He was strong in me then and I let Him work. And then throughout the years He has shown up a few times - and I was always grateful. But He has never consistently led me - I never knew how to let Him - or even knew I needed Him.
During that summer I could hear Him - all the time. He led me to sing His praise, constantly. He helped my eyes to see things the way God does. He felt near - He was near.
And when God removed the filling of the Holy Spirit from me (not the indwelling - there is a difference!) - I began to ask this question - "God, don't you want all believers to walk like that - full of you?" His answer is Yes. That is exactly what He wants for us.
He wants us to live supernatural lives. He wants us to know His voice. He wants us to be led and directed by The Spirit. He wants us to shine like stars amongst a crooked generation. He wants us to worship and adore Him in our hearts always. He wants us to live out our lives in His power - casting off sin, the world, and the enemy - living our lives in His victory. And we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit - to live that kind of life. Otherwise we are living a defeated life ... the life I have been writing about in recent posts - bogged down in sin - scratching for help.
Essentially that is what this whole blog has been about to this point - how do I get the Spirit back? God what must I know, what must I learn - so I can walk with You like that again?
light
Light has come!
Honestly, I wasn't expecting it so quickly, but I am so grateful! The oppression has not lifted but I have been lifted up within it.
My last 2 posts from earlier today and yesterday - explains how I have been feeling for days, weeks, months and I could even say years. I have been living a defeated life for far too long. A life that has been plagued with continuous sin struggles - the same ones again and again. Anger, gluttony, and other forms of escapism have been idols - weights around my neck. I have been begging God to show me how to be rid of them. Begging Him to show up in His power and defeat them in me. Begging Him to give me the faith to stand in the midst of the battle and submit to His leading.
At first I wanted them gone because they were a bother to me - I wanted to be pretty and seen. I wanted to be loving but I also wanted to appear godly. I wanted God to show up and make my life better... And then God showed me my sin.
When I had my amazing summer with God - that is when I finally realized He wanted to know me. Walk with me, be with me - actually have the relationship with Christ we all talk about. He wants me to talk to Him, share my heart with Him, worship Him, love Him. He wants to show me things the way He sees them, share His power, love, and His heart with me. It was the best time in my life. Nothing has compared - nothing.
When he removed His presence - He told me it was to destroy these idols from my life - He said we have work to do. At first I rebelled and fell into my old ways - blaming Him, not trusting His goodness, running away to my idols. That is when my idols really didn't satisfy - because nothing could compare to my summer with Him. So finally I had to trust Him. I had to believe that He wanted to be with me, I had to believe His word to me. That is when He began to teach me about faith and that is when I began to pray for faith to be born in me. I had the faith of salvation but I did not have the faith that God was good, that He longed to know me, that He did want to grow and change me - and that no matter how much it hurt now - it would all turn out for His glory - and that was what was truly best for me too.
It has been a long and bumpy road - and it is not over yet - but there is light! Faith is being born in me. My heart is changing. I am finally - wholly - submitting to His work in me. I want Him - honestly - I can write this with tears in my eyes and say - I want Him more than anything else. I want His glory to be displayed and I want His glory to shine out of me.
So what is the change? ...
Honestly, I wasn't expecting it so quickly, but I am so grateful! The oppression has not lifted but I have been lifted up within it.
My last 2 posts from earlier today and yesterday - explains how I have been feeling for days, weeks, months and I could even say years. I have been living a defeated life for far too long. A life that has been plagued with continuous sin struggles - the same ones again and again. Anger, gluttony, and other forms of escapism have been idols - weights around my neck. I have been begging God to show me how to be rid of them. Begging Him to show up in His power and defeat them in me. Begging Him to give me the faith to stand in the midst of the battle and submit to His leading.
At first I wanted them gone because they were a bother to me - I wanted to be pretty and seen. I wanted to be loving but I also wanted to appear godly. I wanted God to show up and make my life better... And then God showed me my sin.
When I had my amazing summer with God - that is when I finally realized He wanted to know me. Walk with me, be with me - actually have the relationship with Christ we all talk about. He wants me to talk to Him, share my heart with Him, worship Him, love Him. He wants to show me things the way He sees them, share His power, love, and His heart with me. It was the best time in my life. Nothing has compared - nothing.
When he removed His presence - He told me it was to destroy these idols from my life - He said we have work to do. At first I rebelled and fell into my old ways - blaming Him, not trusting His goodness, running away to my idols. That is when my idols really didn't satisfy - because nothing could compare to my summer with Him. So finally I had to trust Him. I had to believe that He wanted to be with me, I had to believe His word to me. That is when He began to teach me about faith and that is when I began to pray for faith to be born in me. I had the faith of salvation but I did not have the faith that God was good, that He longed to know me, that He did want to grow and change me - and that no matter how much it hurt now - it would all turn out for His glory - and that was what was truly best for me too.
It has been a long and bumpy road - and it is not over yet - but there is light! Faith is being born in me. My heart is changing. I am finally - wholly - submitting to His work in me. I want Him - honestly - I can write this with tears in my eyes and say - I want Him more than anything else. I want His glory to be displayed and I want His glory to shine out of me.
So what is the change? ...
battle
I woke up this morning feeling anxious. I really have nothing in life to be anxious about yet this cloud of oppression is here. I know I was fighting even as I slept too, each time I turned over I heard myself singing in my heart, reaching out to the Lord.
It turned out to be a snow day for my kids - no school. It is a mixed blessing. I didn't have to get up to prepare them for the day and get them out the door to the bus - that was a blessing. The part I am really hoping God shows up in - is our interaction throughout the day. I have been snappy, grumpy, and ugly. For what has been weeks now. I am getting on my own nerves - and am constantly wondering why I bother to open my mouth at all. My flesh has won may small victories. I have hurt my kids, and my husband.
This is a battle. And I refuse to let my flesh, and Satan's lies win. Yesterday as I wrote my entry I felt a small victory. I got to the end and instead of falling into a heap of despair - I turned my thoughts back to the Lord. In the past - I definitely would have decided to eat and watch TV. I would have listened and even entertained the lies of the enemy. Instead, I chose faith in Him.
Today, will be hard. It is already hard. As I write my son is literally screaming in his room over something ridiculous. I will have to address him, and I really want what I say to be from the Lord and not from my flesh. I am also into my Lenten fast - so calories are low and even lower today as I fast through 3 of my small Medifast meals. Energy and drive to do anything are lacking.
I must choose faith, otherwise this battle will come again, and Christ will not get the glory now. And I want it to be over and I want Christ to be glorified in me. I know He is testing me - and I want to pass. I want more of Him and I want my flesh - these strongholds - to be broken in me. Lord be here today - work in me.
Psalm 35: 1-3
O LORD, oppose those who oppose me.
Fight those who fight against me.
Put on your armor, and take up your shield.
Prepare for battle, and come to my aid.
Lift up your spear and javelin
against those who pursue me.
Let me hear you say,
“I will give you victory!”
It turned out to be a snow day for my kids - no school. It is a mixed blessing. I didn't have to get up to prepare them for the day and get them out the door to the bus - that was a blessing. The part I am really hoping God shows up in - is our interaction throughout the day. I have been snappy, grumpy, and ugly. For what has been weeks now. I am getting on my own nerves - and am constantly wondering why I bother to open my mouth at all. My flesh has won may small victories. I have hurt my kids, and my husband.
This is a battle. And I refuse to let my flesh, and Satan's lies win. Yesterday as I wrote my entry I felt a small victory. I got to the end and instead of falling into a heap of despair - I turned my thoughts back to the Lord. In the past - I definitely would have decided to eat and watch TV. I would have listened and even entertained the lies of the enemy. Instead, I chose faith in Him.
Today, will be hard. It is already hard. As I write my son is literally screaming in his room over something ridiculous. I will have to address him, and I really want what I say to be from the Lord and not from my flesh. I am also into my Lenten fast - so calories are low and even lower today as I fast through 3 of my small Medifast meals. Energy and drive to do anything are lacking.
I must choose faith, otherwise this battle will come again, and Christ will not get the glory now. And I want it to be over and I want Christ to be glorified in me. I know He is testing me - and I want to pass. I want more of Him and I want my flesh - these strongholds - to be broken in me. Lord be here today - work in me.
Psalm 35: 1-3
O LORD, oppose those who oppose me.
Fight those who fight against me.
Put on your armor, and take up your shield.
Prepare for battle, and come to my aid.
Lift up your spear and javelin
against those who pursue me.
Let me hear you say,
“I will give you victory!”
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
i will
I am not sure it is wise to write right now. I am all over the place.
This morning as I prayed I longed for the Lord to feel near. I cried out for Him, I prayed for His Spirit to be unleashed and to rescue me and many who I know are suffering. And I actually do believe that He will come and do just that.
Later in the morning, the weight of my sin, and this seemingly never ending sense of oppression was so heavy. The gloom and fog that come are overwhelming. It is hard to think, hard to pray, hard to remember that Jesus loves me. And all I want is to shake it loose. I want to eat, and bury myself in self-pity, and watch TV and forget.
Instead, I emailed a friend and asked her to pray. She is the kind of friend you know prays when you ask her to. She contacted me right away full of prayer. I am grateful for her. And then I got up, put my iPod full of worship music on, and started the days chores (they weren't even the ones I like to do either!).
Hours later the gloom is still here. My resolve to stand firm in belief is melting away. My mind immediately goes to blaming everyone else around me for being annoying or irritating or straight to blaming God. Why do You make promises you don't keep? Where is Your peace, where is the power of Your Spirit to overcome? And then I get mad at myself for being so sinful and wish I could either run away from everything or wish I was born with a sweeter kinder personality - and then at least being kind would not feel so hard.
I don't want my mind filled with such disbelief. I don't want to continue the way that I have been. I don't want to let the doubt and Satan's lies to win. I don't want to wallow, and get fat, and wash my cares away in TV or whatever. I want the Lord. I want to be faithful. I want His Spirit to renew me, change me, and empower me to follow Him and love Him - no matter what.
The weight is still here. And I have to say - God does not feel near, and there is no peace. In fact - I am amazed I am being coherent right now - my brain is full of crazy thoughts.... But I will keep turning to the Lord. I will trust Him. I will believe that He is always good and wants what is good for me. I will be patient and wait for His deliverance. I have to - I don't want my old life anymore. I want the one He wants for me. And I want to bring Him glory.
This morning as I prayed I longed for the Lord to feel near. I cried out for Him, I prayed for His Spirit to be unleashed and to rescue me and many who I know are suffering. And I actually do believe that He will come and do just that.
Later in the morning, the weight of my sin, and this seemingly never ending sense of oppression was so heavy. The gloom and fog that come are overwhelming. It is hard to think, hard to pray, hard to remember that Jesus loves me. And all I want is to shake it loose. I want to eat, and bury myself in self-pity, and watch TV and forget.
Instead, I emailed a friend and asked her to pray. She is the kind of friend you know prays when you ask her to. She contacted me right away full of prayer. I am grateful for her. And then I got up, put my iPod full of worship music on, and started the days chores (they weren't even the ones I like to do either!).
Hours later the gloom is still here. My resolve to stand firm in belief is melting away. My mind immediately goes to blaming everyone else around me for being annoying or irritating or straight to blaming God. Why do You make promises you don't keep? Where is Your peace, where is the power of Your Spirit to overcome? And then I get mad at myself for being so sinful and wish I could either run away from everything or wish I was born with a sweeter kinder personality - and then at least being kind would not feel so hard.
I don't want my mind filled with such disbelief. I don't want to continue the way that I have been. I don't want to let the doubt and Satan's lies to win. I don't want to wallow, and get fat, and wash my cares away in TV or whatever. I want the Lord. I want to be faithful. I want His Spirit to renew me, change me, and empower me to follow Him and love Him - no matter what.
The weight is still here. And I have to say - God does not feel near, and there is no peace. In fact - I am amazed I am being coherent right now - my brain is full of crazy thoughts.... But I will keep turning to the Lord. I will trust Him. I will believe that He is always good and wants what is good for me. I will be patient and wait for His deliverance. I have to - I don't want my old life anymore. I want the one He wants for me. And I want to bring Him glory.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
rescue
I woke up in despair this morning. All night long I felt the presence of evil discouraging me, filling my dreams with darkness.
This weight of darkness has been pressing in on me for weeks now. It is hard to stand under. It is hard to breathe. It is hard to move.
How do I believe the truth? How do I stay focused on who the Lord has declared me to be? How do I walk in my oneness with Him? How do I walk in my newness? How do I walk in the Spirit? How do I shine with the fruit of the Spirit? How do I overcome in Your victorious power? How do I push off my flesh and say no to its desires? How do I walk away from Satan's lies? How do I get this weight off my chest?
I turned to the Lord. I cried out. I told Him what is wrong.
Will you rescue me, Lord?
I know what is true ... will You make it true in me, Lord? Will you make all of this true in my heart? Break down my walls - make me wholly open to You. Work in me.
This weight of darkness has been pressing in on me for weeks now. It is hard to stand under. It is hard to breathe. It is hard to move.
How do I believe the truth? How do I stay focused on who the Lord has declared me to be? How do I walk in my oneness with Him? How do I walk in my newness? How do I walk in the Spirit? How do I shine with the fruit of the Spirit? How do I overcome in Your victorious power? How do I push off my flesh and say no to its desires? How do I walk away from Satan's lies? How do I get this weight off my chest?
I turned to the Lord. I cried out. I told Him what is wrong.
Will you rescue me, Lord?
I know what is true ... will You make it true in me, Lord? Will you make all of this true in my heart? Break down my walls - make me wholly open to You. Work in me.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
requested
A friend requested a reading list. This is going to be thorough. I thought why just write down the ones that have been big for me this year ... Instead, I am just going to write down all that have been big in my life - then as I continue forward I can just add on.
I became a Christ Follower when I was 16. That is really when I started reading. I didn't enjoy reading until I began to read my Bible and then wanted to know more about it. So the first on my list ' My First 30 Quiet Times ' - pretty sure you can't get that one anymore but it drew me in and I began to devour my Bible ... It made me want more!
I'll start with what I am reading and have read recently (within the last 6 months). I typically am reading 5 to 10 books at a time for various study reasons... I will rate on a 5 star scale - 5 being the highest.
A Disruptive Faith - A.W. Tozer **** - so far
Absolute Surrender - Andrew Murray **** - so far
Why Revival Tarries - Leonard Ravenhill ** - so far
Living Sacrifice - Helen Rosevere ***
The Valley of Vision - Arthur Bennet ( compilation ) ****
Experiencing the Spirit - Robert Heidler ***** - can not recommend enough!
A Long Obedience in the Same Direction - Eugene Peterson ***
Surrender to the Spirit - Keith Miller *
Prayer - Richard Foster ****
Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret - Howard Taylor ****
A Praying Life - Paul Miller ****
The Beginner's Guide to Spiritual Gifts - Sam Storms ***
The Beginner's Guide to the Gift of Prophecy - Jack Deere ***
God's Empowering Presence - Gordon Fee - a reference tool ***
Seems like there should be more! I have been looking through lots of books looking for just the right read - so there many snip its and chapters here and there too I guess. The only one I absolutely cannot recommend from the above list is Keith Miller's book - he is a terrible writer - though there are many interesting stories!
Here is the list from recent years (at least that I can remember) this does not include any fiction that I have read - if it did I would have to recommend the Twilight series - loved it! ... I will mark my standout favorites with a star.
Spiritual Direction and Meditation - Thomas Merton
When the Heart Waits - Sue Monk Kidd *
- about the importance of waiting on the Lord
Battling Unbelief - John Piper
Spiritual Intimacy with God - Alice Smith
Beyond the Veil - Alice Smith *
- a great book on intercession
Talking with God - Fenelon
Celebration of Discipline - Richard Foster
On the Unity of Christ - St. Cyril of Alexandria
Sacred Romance - Curtis/Eldridge *
- a great book on understanding where we fit in God's design
The Pilgrim's Progress - Paul Bunyon
Rilke's Book of Hours - Rilke
Abandonment to Divine Providence - Jean Pierre de Caussade
Sacred Influence - Gary Thomas *
When Two Become One - Chris McCluskey *
- a great book on intimacy
Practicing the Presence - Brother Lawerence/Laubach **
- an amazing book that still shapes the way I am praying
and the reason I began to blog
Intercessory Prayer - Dutch Sheets *
- has forever changed the way I pray
Don't Waste Your Life - John Piper
A Path Through Suffering - Elisabeth Elliot
The Helper - Catherine Marshall
The Best of Catherine Marshall - Catherine Marshall
Prayer - C. Peter Wagner
Intimacy with God - Peter Keating
Gift From the Sea - Anne Morrow Lindburgh
How to Meditate - Avery Brooks
Sensational Meditation for Children - Sarah Wood Valley
Same Kind of Different as Me - Hall/Moore
Here is the list of ones that I still recommend and refer to even after reading them so long ago... all have helped shape me - some have been life changing. I will mark the life changers with a star.
Girl Meets God - Lauren Winner
Mudhouse Sabbath - Lauren Winner
Christian Beliefs - Wayne Grudem
Revolution Within - Dwight Edwards *
- helped begin my understanding of my true identity in Christ
Ragamuffin Gospel - Brennan Manning
Spiritual Direction - Henri Nouwen
The Barbarian Way - Irwin McManus
Celtic Benediction - J. Philip Newell
The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman
Captivating - John/Stasi Eldridge
Radical Womanhood - Carolyn McCulley
Why Beauty Matters - Thorpe/Hicks
The New Eve - Robert Lewis
Shepherdng a Child's Heart - Ted Tripp
Don't Make Me Count to 3! - Ginger Plowman
Talking to Your Kids About Sex - Mark Lasser
Intended For Pleasure - Ed/Gay Wheat
A Celebration of Sex - Douglas Rosenau
The Gift of Sex - Penner/Penner
Inside Out - Larry Crabb *
- helped me understand my sin nature and begin a deeper journey
The Marriage Builder - Larry Crabb *
- has shaped my marriage and all our marriage counseling
No Compromise - Melody Green *
- helped lead me to a deep repentance at a dark time
I am sure there are many others too! I have read all/most of Larry Crabb's books - and would recommend any of them.
I became a Christ Follower when I was 16. That is really when I started reading. I didn't enjoy reading until I began to read my Bible and then wanted to know more about it. So the first on my list ' My First 30 Quiet Times ' - pretty sure you can't get that one anymore but it drew me in and I began to devour my Bible ... It made me want more!
I'll start with what I am reading and have read recently (within the last 6 months). I typically am reading 5 to 10 books at a time for various study reasons... I will rate on a 5 star scale - 5 being the highest.
A Disruptive Faith - A.W. Tozer **** - so far
Absolute Surrender - Andrew Murray **** - so far
Why Revival Tarries - Leonard Ravenhill ** - so far
Living Sacrifice - Helen Rosevere ***
The Valley of Vision - Arthur Bennet ( compilation ) ****
Experiencing the Spirit - Robert Heidler ***** - can not recommend enough!
A Long Obedience in the Same Direction - Eugene Peterson ***
Surrender to the Spirit - Keith Miller *
Prayer - Richard Foster ****
Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret - Howard Taylor ****
A Praying Life - Paul Miller ****
The Beginner's Guide to Spiritual Gifts - Sam Storms ***
The Beginner's Guide to the Gift of Prophecy - Jack Deere ***
God's Empowering Presence - Gordon Fee - a reference tool ***
Seems like there should be more! I have been looking through lots of books looking for just the right read - so there many snip its and chapters here and there too I guess. The only one I absolutely cannot recommend from the above list is Keith Miller's book - he is a terrible writer - though there are many interesting stories!
Here is the list from recent years (at least that I can remember) this does not include any fiction that I have read - if it did I would have to recommend the Twilight series - loved it! ... I will mark my standout favorites with a star.
Spiritual Classics - Foster/Griffin *
Devotional Classics - Foster/Griffin *
- these 2 books are compilations and influenced many of the choices below
Spiritual Direction and Meditation - Thomas Merton
When the Heart Waits - Sue Monk Kidd *
- about the importance of waiting on the Lord
Battling Unbelief - John Piper
Spiritual Intimacy with God - Alice Smith
Beyond the Veil - Alice Smith *
- a great book on intercession
Talking with God - Fenelon
Celebration of Discipline - Richard Foster
On the Unity of Christ - St. Cyril of Alexandria
Sacred Romance - Curtis/Eldridge *
- a great book on understanding where we fit in God's design
The Pilgrim's Progress - Paul Bunyon
Rilke's Book of Hours - Rilke
Abandonment to Divine Providence - Jean Pierre de Caussade
Sacred Influence - Gary Thomas *
When Two Become One - Chris McCluskey *
- a great book on intimacy
Practicing the Presence - Brother Lawerence/Laubach **
- an amazing book that still shapes the way I am praying
and the reason I began to blog
Intercessory Prayer - Dutch Sheets *
- has forever changed the way I pray
Don't Waste Your Life - John Piper
A Path Through Suffering - Elisabeth Elliot
The Helper - Catherine Marshall
The Best of Catherine Marshall - Catherine Marshall
Prayer - C. Peter Wagner
Intimacy with God - Peter Keating
Gift From the Sea - Anne Morrow Lindburgh
How to Meditate - Avery Brooks
Sensational Meditation for Children - Sarah Wood Valley
Same Kind of Different as Me - Hall/Moore
Here is the list of ones that I still recommend and refer to even after reading them so long ago... all have helped shape me - some have been life changing. I will mark the life changers with a star.
Girl Meets God - Lauren Winner
Mudhouse Sabbath - Lauren Winner
Christian Beliefs - Wayne Grudem
Revolution Within - Dwight Edwards *
- helped begin my understanding of my true identity in Christ
Ragamuffin Gospel - Brennan Manning
Spiritual Direction - Henri Nouwen
The Barbarian Way - Irwin McManus
Celtic Benediction - J. Philip Newell
The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman
Captivating - John/Stasi Eldridge
Radical Womanhood - Carolyn McCulley
Why Beauty Matters - Thorpe/Hicks
The New Eve - Robert Lewis
Shepherdng a Child's Heart - Ted Tripp
Don't Make Me Count to 3! - Ginger Plowman
Talking to Your Kids About Sex - Mark Lasser
Intended For Pleasure - Ed/Gay Wheat
A Celebration of Sex - Douglas Rosenau
The Gift of Sex - Penner/Penner
Inside Out - Larry Crabb *
- helped me understand my sin nature and begin a deeper journey
The Marriage Builder - Larry Crabb *
- has shaped my marriage and all our marriage counseling
No Compromise - Melody Green *
- helped lead me to a deep repentance at a dark time
I am sure there are many others too! I have read all/most of Larry Crabb's books - and would recommend any of them.
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