everyday

The quiet continues...

I began wondering this morning at church ... What if the Lord chose never to turn on my spiritual sense again? What if He never allowed me to clearly hear His voice or sense His presence again ... would I be able go on like this for the rest of my days?

ugg...

Nothing, NOTHING about that idea sounds good to me. BUT it is a good question....

I once heard a story about a woman - I think in Africa - who heard God speak so very clearly to her. It happened only one time - but it was so clear, so distinct, so obviously from God - that she began serving Him, pouring out, every day thereafter. But that one day was SO clear, SO distinct, SO of GOD that is spurred her on for ALL of her days... He never spoke to her again... just that once. But she served every day, as if she heard Him everyday.

I have been thinking about this... wishing I knew who she was - so I could read her story ... if she even has one. Can I serve God, worship Him, love Him with passion, zeal, throw everything in, give up whatever, worship with abandon - even if I never hear His voice again, never sense Him near?

I want to. I really do. I want to give Him crazy praise, I want to read His word and study, and learn and grow and draw near even if I can't feel Him. I want to tell others about Him and encourage them to do the same. Because, somewhere in me I am finally getting that this is not about me. This is about Jesus and what He deserves. If all He ever did for me was die on the cross, and rise up again, and pull me into that salvation ... then He deserves all my praise, all my devotion, all my love, and heart, and soul, and mind, and strength. He deserves it ALL!

Lord, since you have carried me this far ... can you please by the power of the Spirit carry me into praise - praise for all the wonderful things you have done for me ... set my heart on fire with delight in You. Strip my mind of myself and fix everything on Your wonders. May I see you more clearly in this time of quiet.