Stirrings

There have been a few stirrings in my spirit in the last couple of weeks.

I met this woman who I will be helping to mentor and she has an extremely strong gift of prophecy. Actually, even as we were sitting there I saw the Holy Spirit manifest Himself. She became bright red as she listened to the Spirit talk with her. Another friend was there with us and she FELT the Spirit as well. I did not… but I could see it! Then she looked right at me - not knowing me - or anything about me - and said 'You are waiting… the Lord has you waiting … it won't be much longer.' My friend who does know my story started crying and praising the Lord … she was so excited to experience the Lord like that, and was so excited for me to hear that the waiting is soon ending. Needless to say - I was SUPER excited too.

That night I felt so stirred up in my spirit… I had trouble sleeping… and my heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest. It went on like that all night and I just kept praying … praying to go back to sleep, for my heart to settle, for anyone and everyone who came to mind while I was awake! Then I felt compelled to get out of bed and lay facedown on the floor in a bow and give myself again to Jesus. I surrendered myself totally again to be His servant. To be obedient, to be open, to make Him happy, as He sees fit to lead.

Then over the next few days some old friends from college came for a visit, and it was truly easy to share with them … so I opened way up. My friend really understood and didn't try to fix me, but instead she spoke some prophecy over me as well. She told me that as soon as she heard me say that I was waiting for 2 years in this Dark Night of the Soul, that the phrase 'waiting and warring' came into her mind. She had read a book about this concept … that when God needs you to go be in a big spiritual battle … He takes His time preparing you in a long waiting period. She believed that God was preparing me for something like this.

Amidst all of this, I've been listening to a few more installments of Mike Bickle's teachings on the Song of Solomon … and they have just been fabulous. One taught me about the little compromises in my life that need to be dealt with (the little foxes of verse 2:15) so I can move into greater maturity and depth of intimacy with the Lord. I immediately of course thought about food and TV. So I am making a new concerted effort to focus once again on my food intake. I just - I mean literally!! - downloaded an APP called my symptoms and food tracker so I can tell which foods affect my fibromyalgia more than others … and hopefully as I learn along with this carb/grain/starch/sugar free diet - I will be able to amend even more of what I eat and what I don't. I've lost a couple more pounds and cut most carbs etc from my diet… but there are still healthy things that need to be added in and a few things that should come out. However, I am still going to eat chocolate!! That may never change!! But on the TV side I have chosen once again to leave it off until the evening. I just waste too much time in front of that thing. I have sensed that God may want me to lay off of it as well … but that 'sense' is weak. And in all of the silence, and noise from the enemy, and not knowing what the heck to do with myself at any given moment of any given day … TV had again taken a larger place in my life than I would have liked. I can't say I am looking for more empty silence…. but I am trying to submit. It's truly the not knowing what to do with myself part that i struggle with most … everything still feels meaningless and its hard to hone in on how best to spend my limited energy throughout the day.