weighed down

We must respond.

If Andrew Murray were sitting in my church service this week he would have been proud. It was on Galatians 3. ' O you foolish Galatians! Why having begun in the Spirit do you think you now need to continue in the flesh! ' That was my paraphrase. The gist of it all was … We are justified by Christ's work on the Cross. We are glorified by Christ's work … and we are SANCTIFIED continually by Christ in us. We DO NOT do the work … we respond to His work in us … with worship and obedience.

The response I realized as my pastor was speaking is the part that is stuck/stopped up in me.

I listened to the sermon - saying yes - I KNOW this! So what is my problem?
I cannot respond as I should be able. I cannot worship … my eyes are fixed on me … stuck looking at me because of this long buried shame that God is dredging up.

I have prayed for obedience. I have prayed for a bigger vision of God. I have prayed for my heart to feel His presence. BUT I just can't for whatever reason. God has shut it all down - so I can see this deep problem. God wants me to see it … so that we can be rid of it … so that I CAN respond!

Shame keeps us looking at self. Shame keeps our eyes on our nakedness … instead of His splendor. Shame leaves us afraid of God and wanting to hide. God wants my response to Him to be boldly walking up to His throne. Shame is in the way and must be removed.

So what do I do? That was a big question during the sermon if God is doing it all … what must I do? Respond in worship… respond with obedience. Not Because I have to because if I don't God will be angry. BUT because I GET to, because God always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS looks on me with love. His love is not conditional like ours - but because it is SOOOO different than human love we think it mirrors our conditional love. BUT it is so other! He looks on us with so much love, and love and LOVE and love and LOVE that we just can't hold all of it. He is good always. He loves us ALWAYS!

But my response is stuck. So what can I do?
I wait. Wait for God to come un-stuck me.

Cause here is the lesson. I can't do anything. He must do all in me. I wait on Him and surrender myself again and again to Him and His ways. He has yet to leave me hanging (I may whine and complain about waiting) but he ALWAYS comes.

A hymn has been on my mind lately … O Sacred Head Now Wounded… the first verse goes like this:


        O sacred Head, now wounded,
with grief and shame weighed down, 
now scornfully surrounded
with thorns, thine only crown:
how pale thou art with anguish,
with sore abuse and scorn!
How does that visage languish
which once was bright as morn!

What thou, my Lord, has suffered
was all for sinners' gain;
mine, mine was the transgression, 
but thine the deadly pain. 
Lo, here I fall, my Savior!
'Tis I deserve thy place; 
look on me with thy favor, 
vouchsafe to me thy grace.

What language shall I borrow
to thank thee, dearest friend, 
for this thy dying sorrow,
thy pity without end?
O make me thine forever; 
and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never 
outlive my love for thee. 

It's my favorite hymn. The words are so full. The first verse is what has caught my attention - the image of being weighed down with grief and shame - that is how I feel. Weighed down and lost in my shame. But I need not feel that way … Jesus has born all of that for me already!

So come Jesus and show me what is next … I am waiting on you.