I began to piece together what the Lord has already shown me about my legs. I had a friend share a dream with me just before we left NY last year … here is what I wrote about that a couple months later:
As I was praying about it recently and getting up at night to try and walk out a bit of the leg crazies ... the Lord tied together my restless legs with a dream a friend had about me. Here is the gist of her dream:
You had just come back from a prophecy conference or something like that and you were so excited - glowing and beautiful. And you were especially excited about this new way of praying that you had learned. You wanted to show me, so you laid down on the floor and twisted your legs into a crazy but beautiful position. And it was clear that the strength in prayer came from your legs and this crazy beautiful position could not be achieved by human means.
I have no idea what the fullness of this all means but God specifically brought this to mind and said this dream and my restless legs go together somehow…. God also said that He was training me for something…
and here is a vision a friend shared with me from the Spring:
The Spirit had me praying for your legs and somehow, someway your RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) is tied to hunger. He showed me Mephibosheth sitting at the king's table, but it was your face and body that I saw in the vision. I know it was Mephibosheth bc the Spirit made it clear to me by referring me back to David and his invitation to Meph. The vision picked up where the first one left off. Your mouth reappeared and you went to sit at the table with food beautifully displayed. You we're sitting and eating, but you we're savoring, not merely eating. Only you and the King were there. He was clothed in a heavily decked robe. It was white and gold. And you we're clothed in white, but I couldn't make out the details of your dress. Your radiance was so pure, so at peace, although there was a double edged sword (a small one) near your right arm on the table. At your left arm was a bowl of water.
So as I am praying through all of this … things are coming into my mind - understanding of scripture that was never there before. It comes kind of randomly and gets pieced into the right places. I remember that Mephibosheth's name means 'idol breaker'. That's a big deal when you are struggling to overcome a food idol … and an instant gratification - seek your own pleasure right now and ignore God - kind of idol. I thought through the story of Meph. He is Saul's grandson, he is Jonathan's son… David's best friend who is now gone. David has ascended to the throne and one of the first things he wants to do with his power is bless Saul's family - his enemy. He speaks with a servant of Saul's and learns about Meph. Meph is crippled in both legs. David invites him into the throne room and chooses to BLESS him. This is NOT what Meph is expecting … he is expecting death - for himself and his whole household. He is in the line of another king … he could be a usurper! BUT instead David wants to bless him! He gives all of Saul's family land back to him and asks a servant to care for it all and Meph will receive the blessings with none of the work! AND then David invites him to his table!!! THIS IS A CALL TO INTIMACY … not just physical blessings. God took care of those too … but the real blessing is fellowship with the KING. He was invited to intimate fellowship - to sit alongside of the king and share many meals in the days ahead - to be near Him and share life - to share food… the BEST food - at the Kings table.
I realized that my restless legs … and this dream from my friend, and this vision from another …. were all a PROPHETIC CALL INTO INTIMACY.
Well then since my door to God seemed to be open for a time I began to pray for other things too. I prayed earnestly for my kids to want to pursue God - to be filled with desire for Him. To long after Him and His word. That they would read His word and it would be alive to them. That He would make their hearts burst with Him.
Then a friend came to mind.
A dear friend of mine's husband … is suffering from head to toe in pain. And I began to prayerfully wonder what God was calling him to prophetically see about his life. If my legs can speak this to me … what does a whole body of pain want to speak to him? I felt like God gave me the answer!
It is a Job's call on his life.
And then God took me through a overview of the story of Job and then - knowing I had a few things off … told me to get up and read it and get some details fixed … i.e. the name of a main character ( Elihu… I was confusing him with Eliphaz) before I told my friends what God shared with me and I confused them!
The call to my friend is BIG. I believe God is calling him to examine everything right now and RE-EVALUATE. His job, his home, his relationship with his adopted daughter, his sons, his wife… all of life and set them before God and see what NEW thing God wants to show him.
In the story of Job … in the end God condemns Job's three friends … they did NOT speak for God … and then God blesses Job with a DOUBLE portion after taking all his wealth away. He also allowed all of his 10 children to die and returns to him 10 more children…. and his daughters are specifically mentioned.
Anyway - I am getting off track … I felt that God was calling my friend to examine his life - God is calling him to a huge shift that will affect everything. This pain is to stop him in his tracks and get him to listen. God is coming to speak … and this preparation is a proper humbling to get him ready to hear God. I felt that God was not going to strip away his family in any way - like he did to Job … but everything else is going to change.
This idea of thinking of our physical struggles as a way that God speaks to us came from Andrew Murray. He wrote a book called Divine Healing about this very thing. He wrote it after a 2 year stint where his was unable to speak much due to voice injury. For a pastor who proclaims the gospel as he did … that was a big deal. He went away on his own, and God pushed him into writing … because his voice was broken. BUT Andrew Murray still had so much to say! Without a voice - a pen would have to suffice! Now his voice is preserved! And his ministering to many beyond his generation! - to me! Well as Andrew Murray learned more and studied more … he went to a healing center somewhere in England and learned through scripture and counsel that God has purpose for all our struggles in life. They are a way to get our attention - so that we might hear Him better. So we have to ask big questions when they arise. And when we have walked through all our struggles … and God has taught us what we need to know … He may choose to heal.
My plantar fasciitis - my feet kill at times - speaks to me about walking ahead of God… just recently I noticed my feet hurt more than I thought they should - for no apparent good explanation … but then I needed to repent of going ahead of Him again.
My sore neck speaks of stubbornness - an unwilling spirit to go where God is leading.
my hip pain - speaks of a time of wrestling with God … or an invitation to wrestle with Him
my restless legs are a call into intimacy … so now I get what that is for .
my voice hurts regularly … its hard to speak and I can hardly sing anymore … why does God want me so quiet?
I wonder what my lower back pain is for? I haven't even thought of it in this context yet?
Yes I get that some of this comes with age … and perhaps I do need to see a doctor for some things … :) …. BUT even more than that … why has God allowed hurts to come into our life? They are there to speak to us - to help us see life differently … why? ….start asking some hard questions.
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