need

I was talking with a friend today who struggles with depression. I struggle with it too but on a much smaller scale now than I used to. She was frozen in fear. She had taken her eyes off the Lord and had them trained on her fear. She was focused on how things used to be - when she was stuck in depression - and not wanting to go back there. I know what that is like. I struggle with the same kind of thing - having my eyes focused on the thing I fear rather than the One who has overcome it. 

But I am also afraid of what the Lord will do and how He will direct -will it be hard? Will I have to give something up? Will I have to work at it? I am also afraid of those new and hard things because I am trying desperately to hang onto what I think is good and good for me.... Perhaps God has something even better up ahead - If I can just trust Him for a minute.

As I was praying this morning - I felt connected. I felt focused because I was asking the Lord what He wanted. He said He wanted me to recognize my need for Him. I needed to turn my eyes to Him and know that I can't do anything of worth without Him. I told my friend that she needed to fight to put herself before the Lord, and believe that He is in the middle of even the darkest places inside of us waiting for us to admit our need, and ask for help. And to believe that He loves us enough to help.

Pslam 139 - Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to heaven you are there...if I make my bed in the depths You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn or settle on the far side of the sea - even there Your hand will guide me - Your right hand will hold me fast. Even in the darkness I cannot hide from You - because darkness is like light to You - to You the night shines as bright as day.