truth

As I woke up this morning singing ... Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner... I also felt the Lord calling me to recall many of His promises. And pray for them to be exercised by faith in me.

Yesterday was full of doubts. Doubts about what God has called me to do, and doubts about His character. As I said yesterday - when I can not hear Him - or feel Him near - I get lost and I start exercising all of my old doubts. But I can NOT continue down that old path anymore!

I believe the Lord is calling me out of this old way - which is part of my bondage to sinful eating. As soon as I eat the 'wrong' thing (I say it that way - because I do not believe any food is wrong to eat - but all good food comes from the Lord. However, He has called me into a fast - and so I am abstaining from many normal foods - in order to learn discipline and obedience.) - I do not run to the Lord - I do not confess it to Him and keep moving on with Him. No - instead, I eat the 'wrong' thing, listen to the lies of the enemy telling me that my day is ruined, feel all the guilt - and continue on in my day, rehearsing more lies that lead into doubting the goodness of my God. This is the seasick pattern that has been my way for so long.

So how do I do it differently? I need to stop going over the lies again and again. The new way has to be a rehearsing of the truth when temptation comes ... But the work of faith has to come from the Lord - He will grow the faith in me until I believe the truth... until the truth owns me and I find rest in it.

As I was praying this morning - I felt the Lord calling my attention to one particular lie. The lie that says when I can not hear Him and feel Him near - that He is actually NOT there. BUT that is simply not the truth of scripture, James 4:8 says very clearly that if I draw close to Him, He will draw close to me. It doesn't even matter why I am still believing it - I just am. The lie has become such a part of me that I can not undo its work in me - God must heal me of it.

So as I was praying - I cried out to God to help my unbelief. And I asked Him to create the faith in me to believe James 4:8 without question. And even now as I am typing I am confessing my unbelief - my SIN of unbelief - and I am moving ahead with the Lord today.  And I choose to believe that He will keep me from moving into that sin again. Because He is here. Because He is a God who gives good gifts to His children when they ask.

*** Ah an answer to prayer! I asked God to do this very thing in me on September 5 - down in the post called 'true'. Praise God for His good gifts!