ONE NATURE - not two

I am still reading The Rest of the Gospel by Dan Stone. It's good REALLY challenging. The most recent chapter I am reading is all about our identity. Do we view ourselves as sinners or saints? Am I new creature or do I still operate from the old?

Ahhhh. I KNOW the answer. I know who I am DECLARED in Christ. I KNOW I am made new. BUT - BUT .... I also know that I sin - A LOT. And that no matter what I do or try - I still sin. I know I am not living in the fullness of the gospel. That I am not walking IN the Spirit. So how do I reconcile the 2 things... well I always believed that I have 2 natures. The new one - placed in me by God, Jesus living in me, the Spirit sealing me - directing me to live out the fruit of the Spirit; AND the old me - sinful and dead - always wanting to sin - the walking dead craving to be heard, seen and felt... my sin nature.

BUT Dan Stone disagrees!! He says there is only ONE nature and that the old man is truly dead - killed off by Christ's death on the cross. OK... what? Can this really be true? But then all I have to do is think about the most basic verse from when I was first saved to know that it is... 2 Cor 5:17

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

and back to Romans 6: 5-11

Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to 

God through Christ Jesus.

Ok .... so what does this mean? Dan Stone says that we can only have ONE nature, ONE master, a creature/house can not be divided against itself. SO if the above verses are true - as I know them to be - then I now ONLY have ONE nature ... not two. I am a NEW creature ... the old is passed away - dead - I AM NEW. 

I struggled against this. Because I see so much sin still within me - if my old man has been killed off - why is there still sin? I always considered the new man to be what I was BECOMING. I was becoming more like Christ as I shed off more of my sin/flesh and revealed the new man inside - the REAL ME. BUT I had to shed off the sinful flesh to reveal what was true on the inside. I GET that I was made new, but I only thought it was a HEAVENLY declaration.... NOT - NOT that it is the ONLY true reality .... hear me - THE ONLY TRUE REALITY.

So where does the sin come from? Sin does still reside in the members of my body. This body is left in the old state. It's members are not yet redeemed ... God has not given me my heavenly body ... so hence this body still has sin in it. BUT IT IS NOT - NOT - MY NATURE! Listen to Romans 7: 21-23

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 

I always thought that my flesh - was equal to my sin nature. BUT it is NOT. Flesh is equal to my BODY where sin still dwells, because my BODY is still unredeemed. It is wrecked with sin just like the rest of creation groans and waits to be made new. BUT my spirit HAS already been made NEW - I have a NEW nature and it is clean and pure, and united and one with CHRIST.

WOW.

Ok Father, what do I need to start confessing first because all this unbelief has been rolling around for awhile! What do I still have wrong? because I want to replace all this junk with faith in the truth - the truth of what YOU have done! The truth of who You are - the truth of who I am!!! I need your revelation so that I don't just get the idea - but so I GET the idea - wholly!!! So my soul feels it - breathes it ... lives it.

15 days

SOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!

Okay I need to vent a litte. I was all excited to get a house we have had our eye on... It was the first we put an offer on, but got rejected from. Then it came back on the market - at a lower price! - and we went after it again ... though it involved a strange less direct set of circumstances - it felt like God was directing it. I even had a prophetic prayer over the whole thing... While all those decisions were being made the house sold out from under us! ARRGGG!!! What? I don't get it God - seriously.?! That was the only house my prophetic gut spoke to me about - the ONLY one out of 30+ that we have seen. We even saw some with the exact same floor plan that I never had that feeling about. So what am I to do with this gut feeling - the sense that I felt at home right away in THAT house? It's not like it was even perfect - it needed lots of love.... so the whole thing leaves me wondering.

So we went house shopping again yesterday. You have to understand my husband is frustrated by now with the whole process and SOOO wants to be done. I do too - but I have to KNOW what we are doing is what God wants. We saw a house - great floor plan - similar to the ONE - but further out than we would like ... NOT in the neighborhood we were pursuing.  My Husband loves THIS house ... it has a lake view - done - he is sold. We put an offer in. AND I start to panic.

Why? NO gut feeling at all. How can we buy a house if we do not KNOW it is what God wants????!!!   There is no story of God's leading, no feeling about it , no nothing - we - mostly he just likes it. There was a bit of a cry and screaming fest for me and my husband as I told him my problem. He understands me, but he says he views these decisions very differently than I do. I have been trying to submit to his leadership through all of this ... first we were focusing on another area because of his sense about it. Then we moved away from that when we realized that was going to be too much money. Then we found a good spot - THE neighborhood of THE house - that seemed a good focus - not too far from the original area... truly the best of both worlds. Then I felt strongly about this ONE neighborhood - and this one house ... feeling like THIS neighborhood was the place to focus - my husband agreed!! BUT now this house - that we are offering on now - is NOT in that neighborhood - at all. My husband says God can use us anywhere. I agree He can ... but is it what He wants? I don't know. So I am trying to submit to my husband but he keeps changing his mind. I really just want to submit to God but He isn't loud enough!! So I have been praying for a sense of what to do in the middle of all of this....

Last night I asked God to do 4 things for me... 1. to stop our offer in some way if it is not the house we are to have. Either bad inspection, or some other unforeseen thing. and 2. that if THE house - the one I have a sense about - comes back on the market that we would jump ship and go get it quick - and the path would be smooth and straight. And that 3. - God would make all these things happen within 15 days ... the time in which it is possible to walk away from our current offer without any problems. And 4. - That if the current house is what we end up with - that God would provide an extreme sense of peace about it... even without the prophetic pieces.

So I am waiting. Not very patiently to see what happens. I am honestly anxious with so many fleeces out there flapping in the wind waiting for dew. God please be obvious.

I AM DEAD .... and it's such great news!!!

I am reading a new book. It's called 'The Rest of the Gospel' by Dan Stone ... it's a book I have been waiting for... not literally but figuratively. I didn't know it existed, but I have been wanting someone to write/speak about our union with Christ in real terms. I am thankful for the theological work I am also reading 'One With Christ' by Johnson about the same thing ... but theological works rarely 'do it' for me (they are too busy trying to justify their words the whole time - it's exhausting!!).

As I am reading ... the Spirit is burning in my chest! Can you believe it!! Presence. I am with Him.

The book is about what we are all missing from our spiritual walk with the Lord ... the question we all still ask at the end of our busy and hard days - those moments when you are finally quiet right before sleep ... the question that just comes ...where is the LIFE He promised? He promised we would have life and have it to the full ... so where is it? I have tasted it - and lived it for periods of time - but there MUST be a fullness - a lasting fullness - I know this is true because He promises it is true! So where is it????

Recently when I was with a group of women someone asked me what I was thinking about something we read ... I was so frustrated because it was this same thing again. All the promises of God are great - but they seem far away. What good are they then - if we can not feel them, taste them, live them?!!! I yelled out - "it is NOT enough - there needs to be more ... IT IS NOT ENOUGH! WE ALL NEED MORE! There needs to be more of Him."

I have been crying out for this since He took His presence away after my Summer with Jesus! That WAS it - I lived in fullness!!! I lived in fullness - because I lived in Jesus - totally immersed - totally encapsulated. I tasted HIM fully for 6 months - and those 6 months were the best of my whole life. He gave them to me because He knew I would need them to make it through this journey - this journey that has taught me how to die to self. To be filled with faith. To learn about the Spirit. To cast off idols. None of these I have done perfectly, and I am not done with any of it yet. BUT they have brought me to this place of KNOWING I can NOT do this without Jesus. I can not live the Christian life - I am incapable. He must do all. I can not think for myself. I can not live it out. I can not get my heart to love, I can not make my heart joyful, I can not make it come alive. I can not even fain happiness when I ignore God and pretend other things are important for a while. Without His physical/spiritual revelation being imparted to me I can not understand His word or what it means for me in my life. I CAN NOT DO IT.

These last few months the ones where God has been silent have sucked. I have hated them. BUT now I get them. I GET IT! They were me being buried with Christ. I spent Saturday in the grave with Jesus. I was under dirt ... the Father was quiet - everything was quiet - so that I could know this one thing......... I have DIED with Jesus.

This is something I had known for awhile - but in these last months I have lived it. Romans 6:3-4a 'Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death?  For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism.' I have a bunch of previous posts that detail everything that I felt during this time and everything that I thought Jesus must have felt. I can't even comprehend what it means for a triune God to separate Himself from Himself while Jesus was dead. I just know it must have been agony. As much as Jesus must have been frightened to be tortured on Good Friday - the pain of separation must have been what He feared most. Perfect union broken... perfect peace smashed, perfect love missing. I can't even fathom. Words do it no justice.

These 2 things are tied together - I can do nothing without Him and I have died with Christ. This time of feeling buried has been to teach me that they go together! This book has tied the 2 things together - listen to this quote...

"It is impossible for a person to know their union with Christ, and live out that union, if they don't know they have died with Christ. If I think the old me is still alive, I am still my point of reference. If I am still my point of reference, I am still trying to correct me, straighten me up, make something out of me, or do something to change me. As long as my emphasis is on me, it can NOT be upon CHRIST in me. So I am a divided person."

I KNOW I AM DEAD. I have been buried with Him. I have lived in the agony of separation, the silence. I know It was nothing like the Father and Jesus but it was enough for me to get it - to really get it. I am dead, nothing in me will ever be able to make this life work  - I can never make my life full on my own.... So now it is time to learn about being alive to Jesus. One with Him - united with Him in His resurrection!

Romans 6: 3-11

Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.


I am only through 4 chapters but so far this guy has told me the story of my last few years - really the journey of faith... but most people don't talk about our sanctification like this! So I am excited to read more and learn what it means to be united and alive!!!

for a cause!

Today is the first day I have felt led to fast for a cause! I woke up early and immediately began praying - that's pretty normal - but I usually fall back to sleep - today I was really awake! I felt led to pray through our house situation and did, then I felt led to pray for this cause that someone posted on Facebook yesterday - an article I didn't even read - just saw the headline of. Here is the link...

http://www.christianpost.com/news/christians-in-nigeria-ask-for-prayers-as-187-school-girls-still-held-captive-by-suspected-boko-haram-group-118570/

So these 187 girls are being held by an extremist muslim group ... who the officials think they want to force into marriage and caring for them. The girls are from the same christian village and attended a western type school that these men attacked. Their parents must be frantic - the girls overwhelmed and terrified. I felt God wanted me to help surround them with His protection and prayer, His angels and His comfort. That he wanted them all safe and together to feel His love and care for them. I pray they do indeed feel His great love for them. I prayed for the girls who are leaders to encourage and bolster the more fearful ones and that they would all be wise and clever as they deal with their abductors. I prayed for these men to see Jesus hand in these girls lives, see His power displayed in their midst, prayed that His name would be given great glory.

I hope there is news soon - truly I hope these girls are safe. I am fasting through lunch to pray for these girls.

I prayed also for the girls in the safe houses of LOVE146 as well - prayed for their healing and comfort and for their fear to be wiped away - for the Spirit to overwhelm them with His power to make them whole again.

Even though I can't say I felt the Lord's presence per se - I did feel Him directing my prayers - I knew just what to pray - just what to ask for. It was a great experience - the kind where time stands still and moves fast all at the same time. Where you KNOW work is getting DONE!!!

The Lord gave me a direct word for Phil and for our house situation as well ... I don't want to go into the details but He asked us to dream big and expect big things .... so now I am really excited to see what He does!! He gets all the glory!!!