nesting

I have been cleaning and organizing furiously. I organized our movie closet, under my sink - all my cleaners were just a mass pile, my laundry room - was a dumping ground for the random homeless items, and the mac-daddy of all was my bedroom. Since we moved into our house a year ago, my room especially seemed to collect all the things we didn't know what to do with, and mess ensued. So I have been on a rampage the last few days to a week. But I just realized today what this sudden urge is …. I'm nesting.

If you have had a baby or have prepared to adopt -- you know this feeling. Right before a child comes into your world you want everything to be ready to welcome them. You want them comfy and cozy, to feel loved and protected by the things that are all around them. Just like a mama bird making a nest for her clutch of eggs, she lines the inside with soft down or moss, we do the same for our babies.

Now don't go thinking that I am bringing home a new child! I am not. My husband and I have never felt called to adopt, nor do I ever desire to be pregnant again, besides the fact that now my husband is quite fixed! No, this upcoming birth is something else entirely.

Its the birth of something new … I just don't know WHAT yet. God has enveloped me in silence for more than 2 years now, to strip, purge, and remove from me a pile of mess below my surface (I guess I am more like an elephant in that way since its taken me 2 years to gestate!) And I think that soon He will reveal to me what it has all been for. So as I feel this deep breath in - getting ready to release - I am getting ready any way I can. Even if they are only my closets, and laundry room etc… they represent the places I have neglected. Before, I could just close a door and ignore them. And I DID. BUT now, I just want to be able to dive into whatever this is, without anything holding me back. So nothing will be left undone as long as I can help it. Because when Jesus finally calls, I will finally be heading into something new.