Song of Songs

Not much has happened since my last post…. with the Lord anyway. Lots has happened in life, like moving, settling into a new home and neighborhood, a visit from from my mom and step-father to help unpack, and pure crazy exhaustion. But with the Lord it is still quite quiet. There was one small thing though … I felt Him calling me to read the Song of Solomon again. I say again, because I had felt that earlier in the year … and read it through a bunch of times. I even got a book written by Hudson Taylor on it … but in all the silence nothing really clicked and I moved on.

I have to say all the silence is still very hard. Yesterday I was in a funk all day and I wasn't sure why but now as I wake up this morning I realize it's the silence. I keep waiting for the Lord to show up and surprise me, but to be honest my pursuit has slowed down so much. I am tired of trying, of waiting.

So I read through The Song again … a few things stood out a little. But I confess I just don't really 'get' the Song of Solomon. Intellectually I know it can be read to enhance marital love and enjoyment of sex … but I also know that it's meant to be read in a spiritual sense that escapes me totally. Every time I read an old mystic writer from the past they quote The Song. They talk of knowing God intimately through this book, understanding the depths of His love because of it. I JUST was not one of those who got it!!

But I have decided (just now, I think!) to camp here. A few years ago I camped out with the Lord in Psalm 23 for about a year - It was glorious. I read that psalm every day - many times a day, meditated on it, prayed through it, breathed it in and out to the Lord. He taught me a lot through that time. BUT at least I understood some of it - intellectually!! The Song is full of symbols I just don't get - and it will require some study. So I remembered hearing that Mike Bickle (International House of Prayer - Kansas City) has taught on this. I looked for his sermon series online and I have listened to the intro and first teaching. Already, I can feel the Lord nudging me… saying' Yes, A---- , this is it! Keep going!!'

I know the Lord is calling me to spend more time with Him … even though He is still quiet. As I was rereading Hudson Taylor's book - I realized I just need to get up in the morning and sit before the Lord - even if nothing happens. Read the Song and wait on Him. To me right now that sounds so painful. Submitting to more silence. BUT I need to stay open to whatever He asks… even this. Stay at the edge of the cliff and wait.