I am reading a new book. It's called 'The Rest of the Gospel' by Dan Stone ... it's a book I have been waiting for... not literally but figuratively. I didn't know it existed, but I have been wanting someone to write/speak about our union with Christ in real terms. I am thankful for the theological work I am also reading 'One With Christ' by Johnson about the same thing ... but theological works rarely 'do it' for me (they are too busy trying to justify their words the whole time - it's exhausting!!).
As I am reading ... the Spirit is burning in my chest! Can you believe it!! Presence. I am with Him.
The book is about what we are all missing from our spiritual walk with the Lord ... the question we all still ask at the end of our busy and hard days - those moments when you are finally quiet right before sleep ... the question that just comes ...where is the LIFE He promised? He promised we would have life and have it to the full ... so where is it? I have tasted it - and lived it for periods of time - but there MUST be a fullness - a lasting fullness - I know this is true because He promises it is true! So where is it????
Recently when I was with a group of women someone asked me what I was thinking about something we read ... I was so frustrated because it was this same thing again. All the promises of God are great - but they seem far away. What good are they then - if we can not feel them, taste them, live them?!!! I yelled out - "it is NOT enough - there needs to be more ... IT IS NOT ENOUGH! WE ALL NEED MORE! There needs to be more of Him."
I have been crying out for this since He took His presence away after my Summer with Jesus! That WAS it - I lived in fullness!!! I lived in fullness - because I lived in Jesus - totally immersed - totally encapsulated. I tasted HIM fully for 6 months - and those 6 months were the best of my whole life. He gave them to me because He knew I would need them to make it through this journey - this journey that has taught me how to die to self. To be filled with faith. To learn about the Spirit. To cast off idols. None of these I have done perfectly, and I am not done with any of it yet. BUT they have brought me to this place of KNOWING I can NOT do this without Jesus. I can not live the Christian life - I am incapable. He must do all. I can not think for myself. I can not live it out. I can not get my heart to love, I can not make my heart joyful, I can not make it come alive. I can not even fain happiness when I ignore God and pretend other things are important for a while. Without His physical/spiritual revelation being imparted to me I can not understand His word or what it means for me in my life. I CAN NOT DO IT.
These last few months the ones where God has been silent have sucked. I have hated them. BUT now I get them. I GET IT! They were me being buried with Christ. I spent Saturday in the grave with Jesus. I was under dirt ... the Father was quiet - everything was quiet - so that I could know this one thing......... I have DIED with Jesus.
This is something I had known for awhile - but in these last months I have lived it. Romans 6:3-4a 'Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism.' I have a bunch of previous posts that detail everything that I felt during this time and everything that I thought Jesus must have felt. I can't even comprehend what it means for a triune God to separate Himself from Himself while Jesus was dead. I just know it must have been agony. As much as Jesus must have been frightened to be tortured on Good Friday - the pain of separation must have been what He feared most. Perfect union broken... perfect peace smashed, perfect love missing. I can't even fathom. Words do it no justice.
These 2 things are tied together - I can do nothing without Him and I have died with Christ. This time of feeling buried has been to teach me that they go together! This book has tied the 2 things together - listen to this quote...
"It is impossible for a person to know their union with Christ, and live out that union, if they don't know they have died with Christ. If I think the old me is still alive, I am still my point of reference. If I am still my point of reference, I am still trying to correct me, straighten me up, make something out of me, or do something to change me. As long as my emphasis is on me, it can NOT be upon CHRIST in me. So I am a divided person."
I KNOW I AM DEAD. I have been buried with Him. I have lived in the agony of separation, the silence. I know It was nothing like the Father and Jesus but it was enough for me to get it - to really get it. I am dead, nothing in me will ever be able to make this life work - I can never make my life full on my own.... So now it is time to learn about being alive to Jesus. One with Him - united with Him in His resurrection!
Romans 6: 3-11
Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.
I am only through 4 chapters but so far this guy has told me the story of my last few years - really the journey of faith... but most people don't talk about our sanctification like this! So I am excited to read more and learn what it means to be united and alive!!!
Hooray! Sounds like a winner of a book. Sounds like a winner of a God:) And I really like the use of bolds and italics and caps - I feel like I can "hear" the real Aimee over these typed out sentences. Press on to know Him more, friend, His going out is sure as the dawn and he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth:)
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