15 days

SOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!

Okay I need to vent a litte. I was all excited to get a house we have had our eye on... It was the first we put an offer on, but got rejected from. Then it came back on the market - at a lower price! - and we went after it again ... though it involved a strange less direct set of circumstances - it felt like God was directing it. I even had a prophetic prayer over the whole thing... While all those decisions were being made the house sold out from under us! ARRGGG!!! What? I don't get it God - seriously.?! That was the only house my prophetic gut spoke to me about - the ONLY one out of 30+ that we have seen. We even saw some with the exact same floor plan that I never had that feeling about. So what am I to do with this gut feeling - the sense that I felt at home right away in THAT house? It's not like it was even perfect - it needed lots of love.... so the whole thing leaves me wondering.

So we went house shopping again yesterday. You have to understand my husband is frustrated by now with the whole process and SOOO wants to be done. I do too - but I have to KNOW what we are doing is what God wants. We saw a house - great floor plan - similar to the ONE - but further out than we would like ... NOT in the neighborhood we were pursuing.  My Husband loves THIS house ... it has a lake view - done - he is sold. We put an offer in. AND I start to panic.

Why? NO gut feeling at all. How can we buy a house if we do not KNOW it is what God wants????!!!   There is no story of God's leading, no feeling about it , no nothing - we - mostly he just likes it. There was a bit of a cry and screaming fest for me and my husband as I told him my problem. He understands me, but he says he views these decisions very differently than I do. I have been trying to submit to his leadership through all of this ... first we were focusing on another area because of his sense about it. Then we moved away from that when we realized that was going to be too much money. Then we found a good spot - THE neighborhood of THE house - that seemed a good focus - not too far from the original area... truly the best of both worlds. Then I felt strongly about this ONE neighborhood - and this one house ... feeling like THIS neighborhood was the place to focus - my husband agreed!! BUT now this house - that we are offering on now - is NOT in that neighborhood - at all. My husband says God can use us anywhere. I agree He can ... but is it what He wants? I don't know. So I am trying to submit to my husband but he keeps changing his mind. I really just want to submit to God but He isn't loud enough!! So I have been praying for a sense of what to do in the middle of all of this....

Last night I asked God to do 4 things for me... 1. to stop our offer in some way if it is not the house we are to have. Either bad inspection, or some other unforeseen thing. and 2. that if THE house - the one I have a sense about - comes back on the market that we would jump ship and go get it quick - and the path would be smooth and straight. And that 3. - God would make all these things happen within 15 days ... the time in which it is possible to walk away from our current offer without any problems. And 4. - That if the current house is what we end up with - that God would provide an extreme sense of peace about it... even without the prophetic pieces.

So I am waiting. Not very patiently to see what happens. I am honestly anxious with so many fleeces out there flapping in the wind waiting for dew. God please be obvious.