i need to say it again

Ok so Good Friday and Easter were hard. It seems I miss my old life more on the holidays. I miss being known and knowing others well. Though life here feels more connected and I am making friends ... it's just not the same as it was. I miss my people. I miss the friends I would sit and talk with each week, the people we would worship with on Sunday and see throughout the week. I miss having a place I belonged.
But in just a few shorts weeks we will be heading back for a visit ... and I am excited... but I also know I will not feel entirely at home there either. We will have been gone for a year and life will have moved on without us - as it should! So I know it will feel different - and that I will feel out of place, out of phase. Even though I will always love it there and have great memories ... we are here in our new home for a reason - and I am sure they are good reasons - I am just not sure entirely what they are yet! I am just a girl stuck in the middle of transition, waiting for the Lord to fill in some major blanks.

So for Good Friday and Easter I listened to music off the website of my old church. I NEEDED to sing O Sacred Head Now Wounded and Christ the Lord Has Risen Today - the way that I am used to. And I sang it out in my bedroom loud and then I cried. I wept because I missed everything, and I wept for a good friend whose life will never be the same because of sin, and I wept for the unrepentant man who caused the sorrow who just doesn't get that Jesus really IS enough.

Transition really bites. BUT it felt good to cry. It felt good to get some of that out and say again how hard it all is. To own it out loud BUT then get up and worship the Lord on Resurrection Day and praise Jesus for His great name and His good plans. Because even if life is hard and uncertain and I have no idea what to do with myself most of the time - He is still good! And He still loves me perfectly! And He proved how awesome He is by walking out of the grave. Resurrection is coming for all of us and today I need to say it again .... HE IS RISEN!!! He is Risen INDEED!