perspective and smiles

Living for His pleasure.

Not mine. But His.


I was sharing this with my husband and he said well isn't that Piper's thing? Sort of ... Piper says that when we live for God's glory then we will experience our highest joy ... because then we are doing what we are created for... finally we are fulfilling our purpose. All good - I totally get it, I totally agree.

BUT I was reading that dang devotional again ... Jesus Calling - man that thing nails me again and again. And I came to November 6 and it starts out by saying 'seek to please me...' And that dear friends just shifted everything in my mind!!

When I think of giving God all His due glory and honor ... I picture myself as a mirror reflecting back all His own glory - the bright blinding glow of His beauty, the magnificence of His character, the weight of His love. There is a heaviness to that responsibility... that fear and awe... of displaying Him rightly.

But when I think of living for His pleasure all I think of is putting a smile on His face. Living to make Him happy and not thinking about me.

There is far too much of me in my thoughts, in how I live, what I do, what I avoid, what I acquiesce to. What I achieve, how I will minister, how I love or don't love, what I like, and what I don't. Perhaps some of that is totally normal - I am sure it is. We are in fact sinful beings stuck inside of sinful bodies. Even though we are bought and made new - we are still stuck with the old 'me' inside the new. The flesh fights to be heard and noticed - it wants to live - even though it has always been dead. It's like a zombie that way, it can't help but drone around wanting others to be dead with it.

BUT we ARE redeemed. We have new lives ... so with it has to come a new way of thinking. LESS ME - more Jesus. Less 'my way' and start to think how I can put a smile on Jesus' face.

One line from the devotional says this ... 'Many people's decisions are a combination of their habitual responses and their desire to please themselves or others.' WOW - totally nailed. My habitual responses are about pleasing me - always without fail ... from the food I put into my mouth all the way to the ministry I want to be able to do. I want to be happy. I want the smile - I am living for my own smile.

So much of my week this week has been balking under the minutiae of homeschooling ... feeling stuck, bored, and just not caring about stupid things like the difference between a quarter and a nickel. I have hated teaching, and hated my kids this week. It has been awful - I have been awful. The feeling of being trapped and stuck and small felt life threatening. Which I suppose it was to my flesh. My flesh doesn't want to make Jesus smile, or make sacrifices, or do things in the quiet of my home ... it's all too small and too unseen. Ugg - admitting that sucks.

I was in getting a pedicure yesterday during the much needed break to gain perspective on my life. And I was chatting with the girl doing my toes. She is from Vietnam. She is the only member of her entire family away from home, everyone else lives back in Vietnam. I asked her if she trained to do manicures and pedicures in Vietnam ... 'oooh no' she said, 'I was accountant, but I could not make enough money to live there so I came here. You can only work for 8 hour in Vietnam ... they do not have enough money to pay for more work... so you are always behind. So I came here and I can work 7 days a week, for 11 hours a day, and send some money home to help my family.'

..... WHAT? Perspective all over the place - but not quite the way I expected it. This woman gave up a real job as an accountant ... to come work on rich spoiled americans feet everyday!!! She chooses a 77 hour work week ... an then gives much of it to her family!!! And she said all of this with a smile on her face. I suck - I mean I really ... suck.

My selfishness runs deep. My self-centeredness even deeper. My desire to make me happy - ridiculous chasm.


How do I put a smile on your face, Jesus? What will make your day, what will make You happy?


Hebrews 11:5-6   It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying—“he disappeared, because God took him.” For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God. And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

John 8:28-30   So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man on the cross, then you will understand that I Am he. I do nothing on my own but say only what the Father taught me. And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Then many who heard him say these things believed in him.


There are so many more verses running through my mind but I have to be done for now. Keep it coming Jesus ...