Niagara River

I had a dream the other morning ... while I was praying - because many mornings lately when I wake to pray I fall back to sleep and wake up, and fall asleep again ... Its a whole thing - anyway ...

My dream was of me racing down the Niagara River heading toward the Niagara Falls ... I had fallen in and couldn't get out and now I am about to go over! The fear was so big - so scary I woke up startled to remember my dream.

And I realized as I reflected on my dream that the only way I was going to get out of that crazy current was to be rescued. I need to be RESCUED. Plucked out of the water by some massive hand and put back on land - nothing else would do. When you are heading for the Falls - what else could save you?

This was such a picture of temptation for me ... me and food - my ultimate temptation (right now - but it also has been a life long struggle). I am heading for the falls each day in a rush of current and waves and the only thing that can save me is the hand of God plucking me out of my mess and setting me on a new path.

Food is such an idol in my life. I don't want it to be, but it is still here. There are days I wish I could just stop eating and walk away from food altogether ... but that is not possible unless I want a whole new set of issues.

So I plead and confess my sin again asking for rescue. Jesus there is nothing else that will do! Please come and save me from myself! I don't know what else to pray anymore - I need YOU! I know this is in the way! I know I am supposed to pray and seek you before I eat anything and I just can't remember - no matter how many times I start over - I still have to start again! When will there be change? Jesus this is an idol I just don't want, but it feels like a rock chained to my neck - please help! Please show up!