food again

I struggle with food.
I have a food addiction.
I have a sloooow metabolism.
Exercise is not my favorite.

Thus ... I am on a diet again. Almost 4 years after I began to lose weight I had almost gained back all of  it I had lost ... just 2 pounds shy. UGGG!

Can I just say what a love/hate relationship I have with food. I love the taste! The smells! Enjoying it at parties, trying new things, eating out, eating in, eating with friends! I love healthy food, junk food - though less so now than I used to! - dessert, breakfast with bacon and good-night snacks. There is very little I don't like when it comes to food... mushrooms and water chestnuts make that list!... BUT here is the thing ... I LOVE JESUS MORE.

I don't want an idol in my life. Especially now that I am reading Isaiah and all through the middle part is a consistent rant from the Lord. 'You love your stupid idols more than me - ME, the Creator of the whole Universe - ME, who put the stars in the heavens - ME, who loves you with an everlasting and perfect love! And yet you choose stupid, man made, fake, small, can't speak, can't eat, can't do anything but fall over - gods.'

Honestly, that really is stupid.

So even though I would love to blow off this whole idea of dieting again (especially now when it is extra hard since we moved and are having dinners with new people left and right) ... I simply can't ignore what God is calling me to - again. Not when HIS JOY is the thing I say I want most, not when I say I want His presence more than anything, not when I am asking for Him to increase my gift of prophecy, not when I am asking Him what it means to abide everyday! Because ignoring the one thing He is asking me to shed off - the idol that needs to go - and saying I want all this great stuff from Him - is me being really stupid.

So I am listening. Food has got to go - again.

I can't say all my motivations are pure ... in fact as I prayed the other day as God was impressing this on  me again ... I said OK God - I will do this but mostly I want to be pretty - and fit in my clothes again, secondly, I want to be healthy ... and last on my list is a desire to be obedient. It is what it is ... please work on me.

There is a lot of stupid in us creatures.