praise block

The other day I noticed that every time that I want to let go in my prayers and praise God that nothing comes into my mind. The last time that I noticed this (almost 2 years ago) the Lord pointed out my complete preoccupation with myself. I wanted - no demanded that God give me what I wanted now - and if He didn't I would go away pouting like a child. It was a Sunday morning before church lying in my bed ... wanting to praise and being completely devoid of anything to praise and thank Him for. Of course I could have just gone through some sort of vain list of blessings - my house, my family, etc... But in that time and in this one, I wanted my praise to be spontaneous and led by the Spirit - but there was nothing, I was blank, it was like a wall.

So I am left wondering if my problem is the same as it was before... or if there is something new that I need to be aware of and confess. I read this in the Valley of Vision last night before bed in the Colloquy On Rejoicing:


Remember, O My Soul,
It is thy duty and privilege to rejoice in God:
He requires it of thee for all his favours of grace.
Rejoice then in the Giver and his goodness,
Be happy in him, O my heart, and in nothing but God,
for whatever a man trusts in,
from that he expects happiness.

He who is the ground of thy faith
should be the substance of thy joy.
Whence then come heaviness and dejection,
when joy is sown in thee,
promised by the Father,
bestowed by the Son,
inwrought by the Holy Spirit,
thine by grace,
thy birthright in believing?

Art thou seeking to rejoice in thyself
from an evil motive of pride and self-reputation?
Thou hast nothing of thine own but sin,
nothing to move God to be gracious,
or to continue his grace towards thee.
If thou forget this thou wilt lose thy joy.
Art thou grieving under a sense of indwelling sin?
Let godly sorrow work repentance,
as the true spirit which the Lord blesses,
and which creates fullest joy;
Sorrow for self opens rejoicing in God,
Self-loathing draws down divine delights.
Hast thou sought joys in some creature comfort?
Look not below God for happiness;
fall not asleep in Delilah’s lap.
Let God be all in all to thee, and joy in the fountain that is always full.



What then am I trusting in that blocks all of my spirit's praise? What do I need to repent of Lord? What other comfort am I seeking outside of you?
Ephesians 5: 17- 20 Keeps popping in my head - though I am unclear just what the Lord is trying to say to me....
Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I did a word search at biblegateway.org on praise and asked the Lord to highlight things as I read through the list - here are the highlighted ones - things to pray over and ponder:

Psalm 30: 11,12

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
  that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

Psalm 51: 15-17

Unseal my lips, O Lord,
    that my mouth may praise you.
You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
    You do not want a burnt offering.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
    You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

Psalm 57: 7,8

My heart is confident in you, O God;
    my heart is confident.
    No wonder I can sing your praises!
Wake up, my heart!
    Wake up, O lyre and harp!
    I will wake the dawn with my song.

Psalm 63: 3,5,11

Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
    how I praise you!

You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
    I will praise you with songs of joy.

But the king will rejoice in God.
    All who trust in him will praise him,
    while liars will be silenced.

Psalm 64:10

The godly will rejoice in the Lord
    and find shelter in him.
And those who do what is right
    will praise him.

Isaiah 61:2,3

He has sent me to tell those who mourn
    that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,
    and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
To all who mourn in Israel,
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
    a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

Acts 2:25,26

I see that the Lord is always with me.
    I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
No wonder my heart is glad,
    and my tongue shouts his praises!
    My body rests in hope.