still fighting

It's been awhile.

As I said in my last post this has been a difficult summer. When I try and tell people about my summer though - all they hear is that I have been on a lot of vacations. It's true - I have been on a lot of vacations - but none were restful - none were quiet - and there was very little time to spend with the Lord. Then on the weeks in between - there was so much to catch up on! Whether it was unpacking, laundry, cleaning, or counseling/mentoring ... the lack of quiet continued amidst the care of 3 kids who sometimes actually want to hang out with me.

So the summer for me - spiritually anyway - kinda sucked. Not just because of the lack of time, but when there was time I was so unsettled. Oppression, depression, and disquiet have been the theme. I have also been in quite a bit of pain with back issues. My struggle with food has also been hard - vacations are not my strongest moments, and I have gained a significant amount of weight. I feel restless and exhausted and quite frankly - ugly.

But here is the encouraging thing for me. When last I wrote the Lord did break through some of the haze. And I have sensed the Spirit when I pray. I have prayed with my husband for healing. And the Lord continues to use me despite all my feelings of disquiet.

I am still longing for more, still praying for more... still fighting for more of God. It almost feels like a veil that needs to be broken through... so I continue to wait on God keeping in mind all of His many amazing promises.