Most of my posts I have withheld lately. I have been preoccupied with planning a retreat, camping with my family and a whole bunch of stuff before that. And my thoughts seemed too overwhelming to share.
I just finished reading 'If I Perish' by Esther Ahn Kim. I first read a blurb about her in Francis Chan's book, 'The Forgotten God'.
I am completely humbled by her amazing faith. I even feel like I need to repent from my small faith. She went through so much in her life to stand up for Jesus ... running from the law, speaking out to government officials to warn them, imprisonment, torture, starvation. She was constantly fasting, praying, thanking, praising, giving, loving. She knew her weakness before God and her great need for Him.
I can barely speak out for fear that I might get mocked or even just thought of as weird. I am small and weak ... there is nothing in this flesh God that is good God. Breathe life into me - shine through me. Use me for something good. I want a big faith ... a life that is filled with much fruit ... to bring You praise.
Even as I write this I am afraid. What will You require of me?
Be with me ... and I might not care.
