welcome the desert

I am reading another book... The Beginner's Guide to The Gift of Prophecy by Jack Deere. It is really good - He seems to be a very level headed yet open man - and totally grounded in scripture. I have read his 2 others as well - Surprised by the Holy Spirit, and Surprised by the Voice of God - both were excellent.

I am reading it because I believe God has given me the gift of prophecy and I want to know more about it, and learn how to use my gift to bring God glory. I so long to see God's power displayed in amazing ways in my life and in my church. I believe He wants that too - so I am waiting and praying to hear His leading in whatever He may have me do.

My gift of prophecy is not very strong - as I read in the book - compared to others. I think I am alright with that for now... though Jack Deere does say that we can pray for our gifts to grow and strengthen. But it also seems like a huge responsibility to have a really strong gift - and I do not feel prepared for that - so I will follow along and learn as I go. But I feel the desire in me growing - to see God revealed in this way ... I hope that desire in me is born of God and not some jacked up form of pride. Pride can only lead this all to disaster - in fact that is what I am reading about now - how humility is a foundational quality found in the prophets of the Bible.

Humility he says is found in the desert. "The desert is necessary because no human being has the character to bear perpetual success. Jesus had the character, but His Father did not except Him from the rule. We need failure, pain , and dryness to break the power of our pride. In this life there is no cure for our pride. We are offered a daily reprieve based on the quality of our daily walk with Jesus. The desert is one of those places where we discover our absolute need of that walk... Welcome the desert. It means the gift of humility is being imparted and that promotion or restoration are on the way."

I have not been good at welcoming the desert in the past. I have always fought it. It has inspired bitterness and doubt in me instead of humility and faith. This last year has been different. When the Lord removed His presence from me - I pitched my usual blame, demand and doubt tantrum to the Lord. Thankfully He is way more patient with me than I am and gently led me along to see how ugly I was behaving and helped me to open up to His rebukes and corrections. It certainly wasn't easy but eventually I got the message! And for the first time - I felt like I actually learned something in my desert experience - usually I am so busy fighting against it - I miss the whole point!

Anyway, I still feel like I am in the desert. These last few months have been so busy, difficult, and draining. But I am thankful for the lessons I am learning about God's faithfulness and my need to respond to Him with a steadfast faith in return. It has been hard but good.