helpless

I have been thinking about prayer a lot lately. I am leading a study on it at church. The thinking about prayer is way better than the leading I would have to say - I much prefer one on one to large groups. But alas I am trying to go where the Lord leads... and at the very least I will learn some humility in the leading. Ugg - lots of people make me nervous.

Anyway - back to the thoughts... The first study was on simple prayer - or child like prayer. Where you toss aside all your masks, your thoughts about how it should or should not be done - and essentially just start asking God for any and everything that comes to mind - like a child does. Don't worry about motives, don't worry about the right words, don't worry about the right things - just ask.

It has been so refreshing. I thought I was being honest with God before - and I think I was to a point... but there were things I held back from God - didn't bother to pray for - because I thought 'why bother Him - I can take care of that.' Well - good heavens! - I am not supposed to take care of anything without the Lord's help. I am supposed to be totally helpless and weak before Him - so that He can make me strong in Him. So that His light is the one that shines through - not mine - I have no light to offer except that which is reflected.

Learning again about my helplessness is freeing.  Now all that is expected - though it always was - but now I am more aware... is for me to rest in faith for the Lord to do His work in me. Listen and try to follow. I have to put everything at the foot of the cross - dump all my crap there and let Him make sense of it. He can and does care about all of it. Unlike I, when my kids ask a thousand times for something - I get irritated and angry, but the Lord wants us to come near, wants us to know just how much we need Him in all the minutia of life.

So I have started asking for a lot more ... and just maybe I will get it if I keep asking!

Matthew 6: 7-11