pain free

It's amazing to me how much we (as in all people - perhaps mostly Americans I am not entirely sure) want to run away from the things that are hard, difficult, simply don't like, or are painful. I mean I will do almost anything to avoid things I don't like. And my kids will run from me if I have to perform any procedure whether it be for their good or not. My daughter and eye drops comes to mind - my husband has to pin her to the floor so I can put one tiny drop in each eye and you would think the world is ending. But I am no different. I am running kicking and screaming from all sorts of things the Lord wants of me. I do not want to give up my addiction to food - I still want to be able to comfort myself with just the right flavor when I want to. I still want to drown out all thought in front of the TV when I am having a bad day. And if I am doing well in avoiding those areas - then I will be really spiritual and find a novel to get lost in (reading is at least a good thing). Why is running to the Lord my last choice always? Why at times does He seem so uncomforting?

I know one thing right off the top - its the timing. He doesn't always fix it now. I know I have droned on about that subject before. Another is that I might have to work at something - I might have to go hunting in scripture or talk with someone - that ties into the 'wanting it now' factor somewhat too. Another thing - I may get confronted with sin - the last thing I want when seeking comfort. The basic gist is then (in my mind )that God somehow equals more pain ...or... I don't understand at all what comfort is...I am fully ready to admit that the latter is quite possibly true.

The other thing I have been thinking is that perhaps life here in time and on earth are not supposed to be pain free. That pain is here to teach us if we will listen. That I will be able to understand the sufferings of Christ if I am willing to enter in - and that is what life is for. How else will we be able to count any trial as joy and appear different to the world if we are not handling our pain and suffering with an openness like Job. Faith would be easy without pain and longing and blindness.

I must confess I wouldn't mind if it were easier. But if I want more of Jesus - then I must be ready to accept all His gifts with all His discipline and trials too.

Which puts me right back to praying for more faith.