I am not sure what's going on with me today. I woke up anxious but I am unsure if it was a prayer burden or some of my own fear, I prayed for all of the above. My life is a bit of a mess right now. Everything feels so foggy and uncertain. Even the things I thought were certain feel foggy.
God, I really wish You were a bit easier to know, and feel. There are so many moments when I wish You would just makes things clear. I feel like there is a room in You that I am not allowed in yet. As I have read some of the old contemplatives - they all spoke of You in that way too...going deeper into a castle, drawing near to holy of holies, or being drawn deeper in a spiral of stages. I am longing to know You better but lately there is very little peace. I feel tired and numb.
This verse is from my facebook post this day last year. I am here and waiting Lord, help me to wait with patience.
So the Lord must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. He is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait on His help. Is 30:18
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