negative space

I haven't prayed much in the last couple of days. We have had family staying in our home for the weekend and finding the time, and negative space on the inside has been hard. I have come to realize how much time it takes to have the kind of relationship with Jesus I want. When I don't get the time and quiet that I need, my relationship with the Lord suffers, and I feel lost and lonely.

It's like that when I paint as well, when there is no negative space and everything is too full of color or objects our eyes have no place to rest. When life is too full and busy - whether with good things or annoying problems - our heart has trouble finding a place to rest - there is no negative space. I can see why it would be easier to live off in a cloister somewhere, all time is generously allotted for work and prayer and rest. My life is not like that at all, though I do my best at trying to keep life quiet, there are things, and people, and times, that just can't be put off.

I know God knows all of these things and is not staring down at me with a frowny face wondering why I didn't manage to squeeze Him in. But I also know that if I do not make the time and space - it will get eaten up with so much that does not really matter. Worship matters, time with Him matters, hearing Him matters, His Word matters. These are the things that will shape me into the living sacrifice I desire to be, that He calls me to be, so that I can pour myself out when He calls.