miles and laps

Yesterday I prayed a lot. The burden to pray has been so full, so heavy, I felt sick to my stomach all day. I prayed in the morning for an hour, I prayed all day long in the midst of life, I prayed in more focused bursts throughout the day too. Yet the burden never lifted. I am feeling that way again today.

Last night I locked myself in my room to pray for an hour or so. I had my Ipod filled with worship music, I sat down in my prayer spot - in front of a window by my bed, and worshipped and prayed. Each song that came up I lifted up as a prayer for myself and my church. I cried, I prayed in images, I read scripture, I sang, I praised, I prayed for all the people who I know are hurting.

When I felt released from prayer I was depleted. I needed to eat, it was as if I had run several miles, or swam a thousand laps.

Last night before going to bed, I was reminded about Jeremiah's burning bones - I looked up the reference 20: 9 " If I say I will never mention the Lord or speak His name, His words burn in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am weary of holding it in!" I am no great prophet like Jeremiah...but that is how it feels if I do not pray. This feeling does not die down until I put my whole body into prayer - all of my guts - everything.

Sustain me Father to do what You have called me to do. I pray you will raise up more people to do this work with me.