fear

Last night I experienced true dread before I went to sleep. It felt like something terrible was coming. I prayed for God to protect me and my family and all the pastors and their families at church. I am still wondering if it was a warning from God to pray or if it was an attack from Satan.

It is times like these that I feel like I am in over my head. Prayer is big work - and at times I feel utterly lost knowing how to proceed, or if I am discerning things rightly, or praying with the right motives.

After I prayed for everyone I asked the Lord if He would send someone to speak into my life - a mentor - someone who understands, someone who is a prayer warrior, or prophet or both or honestly just godly, discerning, and older. I have been praying this prayer for many years now. Last summer I got a 'no' for an answer - which was disappointing but at least I knew. I am unsure if He had no one available to send or if He just wanted to solely be my instructor. I don't know how long the 'no' was to last for - so I am praying again for someone to help me.

Perfect love casts out all fear - I am trusting in that, I keep repeating it to myself again and again.